Vernon C. Kelly, Jr., M.D.

The Art of Intimacy and the
 Hidden Challenge of Shame
Vernon C. Kelly, Jr., M.D.

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I am Vick Kelly. I'm a psychiatrist who has spent the past 45 years working with couples and the same amount of time learning and growing in my own marriage with the help and grace of my lovely wife Sharon.

    I've finally overcome my shame about writing, and wrote a book. It contains the wisdom about human motivation taught by
Silvan S. Tomkins combined with the real life experiences, both positive and negative, of the many couples who've shared their stories with me. 

I've worked with couples whose relationships failed because they could not agree where to squeeze the toothpaste tube, and with couples who stayed together in spite of extramarital affairs and other traumatic events. The latter learned about shame, its positive and negative effects, and were able to reconnect emotionally.

    I look forward to sharing my insights with you. If I can help you avoid becoming a divorce statistic - over one million finalized in 2010 - that will be a joyous reward for all the work I put into writing.

[Hey! I've got nothing against healthy, happy sex between consenting adults; in fact, I'm in favor of its positive effect on relationships. But while I do discuss the impact of shame on sexuality and how that impacts emotional intimacy, this book contains no sexually explicit material. If that's what you're looking for in your reading material, you'll need to go elsewhere.]
 The Art of Intimacy and the Hidden Challenge of Shame
is an unusual book. It tackles the difficult subject of shame in relationships and how it turns the joy you see on the faces of the couple pictured above into the hurt seen on the faces and in the body language of the couple on the book's cover.

The Art of Intimacy and the Hidden Challenge of Shame takes the reader on a journey into the heart and soul of our desire to be in intimate relationships and the danger shame poses once we are there. The reader will come away understanding that shame is as valuable as it is painful. One will learn why:


and how:


Can this latter statement be true? Can an emotion as unpleasant as shame ever be helpful in a relationship? The Art of Intimacy and the Hidden Challenge of Shame answers these questions by exploring in depth the biology, psychology and evolutionary significance of shame.

If your relationship is in trouble, if you and your partner have the same fights over and over again, if you have tried to understand what goes wrong and have never found answers that satisfy you or improve your relationship, then you could benefit from the unique information presented in this book.

Check out advanced praise for the book.


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